I won't try to be polite here!
From day one I knew and I intended to breastfeed knowing a little about it all. I had no experience or even a clue what's in front of me. I won't lie that it makes my life a bit of an nightmare not allowing me to do anything or go anywhere. It is the HARDEST option I chose because my daughter is exclusively breastfed . No dummy, no pumping-pure breast.
There are times that I wish I bottle feed her so I could have at least few hours rest when she's asleep. Because my daughter is breastfeeding all the time there is no time for me to pump, and even if I did pump few times for my husband to feed her-milk is not used and beeing thrown away. Next time IF I will pump, it will be put in a freezer for an emergency.
What I do everyday is up to my daughter. If she's sleeping better during the day I can cook, go shopping and feel like I'm alive, but if she's not in a mood for a naps or any sort of relax, my day looks like one big breastfeeding where I can't move from my bedroom. Since my daughter is born, I don't put an alarm, I'm not in a rush and if I want a shower I have to wait until she's having a nap. The way I dress is down to my daughter as well. Roughly 85% of my clothes won't be used for the next year or so because they're not practical. I don't have time to look into my closet to dress differently than comfortable jeans and tshirt. And if it comes to make up…it's basics. All I do is put my foundation and mascara from time to time. I won't lie that I'm thinking about beeing as quick as possible in everything I'm doing and sometimes I'm my bothered to do a makeup. I know it will pass but I know as well that it will take a while.
If it comes to breastfeeding in public– no problem for me, there isn't place I haven't breastfed already. Breakfast cafe, hotel, restaurant, park, GP, shopping centre, shops, car…u name it. It doesn't bother me because I know it's a natural thing. This is something I chose and I'm willing to stick to it.
Did you know it's WORLD BREASTFEEDING WEEK? It is still something controversial. If I'm doing it in public, people will stare, but not women, MEN.
Another thig that bothers me is when I look at some women on instagram, Facebook or read a blog and motherhood seems so easy for them, and then I look up and I'm finding out that they bottle feed their babies or pump their milk. They have a massive support from family and are able to go out within two weeks after having a baby like nothing happened. In a way I am jealous. I am jealous of family support (I have a huge support but back in Poland) because in UK all I've got is my husband, and when he's at work-I'm alone. At times it's getting hard and on top for me, but I keep saying to myself that it's for my daughters good, because I want her to be a healthy and happy baby. All I do is take it easy and slow, I'm trying to prepare myself food wise for the day so IF I won't be able to cook, I will have a ready meal waiting for me in a fridge. Also if I'm not able to go supermarket with my husband (like yesterday, we went, but I had to breastfeed in a car and couldn't go) I order my shopping online at TESCO or ASDA.
It upsets me that there are women which could breastfeed but choosing to bottle feed just to have an easier life, more sleep and more time for themselves. There are women which dream of beeing able to breastfeed but are forced to bottle feed.
It is VERY hard to breastfeed just because it's on demand, and if your baby wants to eat, doesn't matter where you are, you have to feed your baby.